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I am in the world, but not of it: I shall love each as I ought. Each as each deserves.

I put on Sufjan, I tried Anathallo
But the struggles remain.
Dimly lit are my dreams, as dimly
As your meaning right now.
Its Dark all around, i’m
Dark deep inside, the darkness is
Dragging me down, dragging me in.
And im watching it all pass away, Im
Watching myself fade into
Flouressence. And control is
What I hope for, peace is
What I need. Passion my failure,
My violation is desire.

Of this world I am part
Of this world I am made.
But let me not love this
Too much, nor you too
Little. Inordinately do I
Love. Inordinately do I
Live. And the oboe is singing,
The mandolin weeping, the moments
Are passing and I’m sleeping
Awake, grieving for passion:
My undoing, my death.

They say that sin is in math
At the end of an arc, the point
That determines the length of the line.
Well sin is the point of this
And and I’m living this failure
And failing to live in love with the
Clear, in love with the clean.

Chocolate is dark, and the foreign
Aren’t here, my blood isn’t mixed,
And my style is true. But mix
Me with light and bathe me in tones:
Then will I learn to bey and to love.

Sufjan is on and Anathallo
Is next. Once more will I win,
Once more will I pass. Once
More will I love you as I
Ought and the world as you
Want, forgetting myself, forgetting
My past. Forgetting my passion.

Remember the pure.

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One thought on “I am in the world, but not of it: I shall love each as I ought. Each as each deserves.

  1. Bethany says:

    I love this poem. Especially the 2nd…stanza…thing. Your passion has not failed you; your passion to be pure is real and it is what’s truly you. Continually praying for you and remembering you in the little, awesome things of life.

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